An oldie, but goodie from Checking My Reflection ((old blog))

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scale

skāl/

noun

noun: pair of scales; plural noun: pairs of scales; plural noun: scales; noun: scale

1. 1.an instrument for weighing. 
   

mir·ror

ˈmirər

    noun

1.

a reflective surface, now typically of glass coated with a metal amalgam, that reflects a clear image.

verb

1.

(of a reflective surface) show a reflection of.

These two objects I've defined have caused me so much pain, frustration, feelings of success, failure and grief in the past. The mirror is only a "reflective surface" and the scale is only an "instrument for weighing," so why should I feel all those emotions when I think of them? 

The scale measured my weight as I impacted gravity. I let the number it read decide my self-worth, and whether I was going to have a good day (when I liked what it said) or a bad day (when I didn't). I gave a lot of power to that simple tool for weighing, and it was because I did so that I sunk deeper into the dark, desolate hole of body hatred. I saw the number on the scale increase, slowly, as I experienced traumatic life events, and usually a higher value means higher worth right? Nope. I felt worse, and that feeling continued.

The mirror is simply a tool to reflect what is in front of it, right? Wrong. The mirror became an even worse enemy for me than the scale did. I saw my body changing in the reflection, and knew that the internalized emotions were starting to show externally, which went right along with how I felt about myself when I stood on the scale. Sometimes I would check only a portion of my reflection and see beauty, but that was also when that certain part of me was covered in primer, foundation, concealer, blush, bronzer, highlighting powder, eye shadow, eye liner, mascara, lipstick, lipgloss and setting spray. 

I knew that whether I stood on the scale or in front of the mirror that I wasn't happy with myself, and there was something wrong with that. The day I decided to not let two objects define me was the day I let go of my insecurities and realized that neither of them can measure the gratitude I feel when I complete a workout, how much sweat pours off me when I run, how sore my muscles are the next day from a new workout, the feeling of how clothes fit better, and how I smile on the outside and inside because I know I've just done something I never thought I could do. The mirror can capture these expressions of gratitude, but only when I own my accomplishments and express my excitement, accomplishment, gratitude and pride. So therefore I must show those expressions on my face, all the time. And maybe just because I know that I don't have to ignore a mirror just because I don't want to see the negativity I did, I will look into them with pride, because I know that's the only way the mirror can truly reflect who I am as a person. As far as the scale goes, I know I have some impact on gravity, and that my bone, muscles and organs weigh something substantial, but that's it. 

It truly goes to show you that what is on the inside matters, and these devices we use to reflect and measure show ZERO indications of the beauty, fire, and strength we have on the inside. So when you're feeling down and letting the scale or the mirror change who you are, look inside and realize that you are SO much more than a measurement or reflection. You are alive, strong, determined and BEAUTIFUL <3